Throughout my life, Dr. Wayne Dyer has undoubtedly had the most impact of all self-help authors, I have come in contact with, specifically since he is the one who introduced me to the power of positive thinking, via his PBS specials. His books and videos, talks and recordings are a resource of the highest quality, timeless and powerful in this genre.
8 Valuable Life Lessons I Learned From Dr. Wayne Dyer
Lesson 1: Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
Perspective is everything, and the attitude that we bring to a situation influences our ability to recognize the truth, the lessons and the opportunity of any moment. Dr. Wayne Dyer was a master of teaching perspective, and showcasing how ingrained beliefs can affect that perspective. With some effort, and a lot of awareness, and consistency, it is possible to change that perspective and view the world completely differently.
Which belief that you still hold on to, holds you back the most? (In order to uncover this, you may have to record your negative thought patterns over a few days, to uncover any patterns you may hold on to)
Lesson 2. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with
One of the most important lessons in life is to learn to love yourself, respect yourself and take care of yourself. From this vantage point you are no longer a victim in need to be rescued but a stronger individual who does not depend on another to make them happy.
Not only are you giving yourself a gift, with this shift of thinking, but you are also allowing other people to no longer be responsible for your happiness.
List 5 positive qualities that you have right now.
Lesson 3. When the choice is to be right or to be kind, always make the choice that brings peace
Life is not about keeping score, it is about doing the best you can, and allowing others to do the best that they can. Sometimes that means that in order to be kind and peaceful you have to allow others to win or take credit for something you have accomplished. Of course, this does not mean that you should become a doormat, but not every fight is worth winning. Choose to let go of those situations that are worth letting go of.
With which person or in what situation do you feel the need to be right? What would happen if you would just let it go the next time you encounter this situation or person?
Lesson 4. You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.
Happiness is not something that you will find once you reach a certain amount of wealth, things, status or success. It is found in the moments that mindful awareness brings with it – in the song of a bird, the giggle of a child, the soft breeze on a warm day, a smile you are giving to another. Happiness is right here, right now, and free.
Spend 3 minutes in the morning, and in the evening, listening to the sounds of your home, relaxing in the comfort of your favorite chair, or your bed, and allow yourself to be completely present in that moment. Bring your thoughts back toward the sounds and sensations you feel, each time you sense for them to stray, and stay in that present moment awareness as long as you feel comfortable. Allow yourself to connect with the pleasantness of these times, being emerged in the comfort, the relaxation, and the gratitude for the moment of peaceful awareness of them.
Lesson 5. In any relationship in which two people become one, the end result is two half people.
No one should lose themselves in a relationship, let go of a part of themselves to please another or to honor only their expectations. Relationships, if they are healthy and positive, allow space for each individual to grow in such a manner that it benefits them. Anything less is not fair to either participant.
Which skill have you always wanted to learn, just for fun? Find resources on how to go about it, and schedule some weekly time to pursue your interest.
Lesson 6. All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, it will not change you.
If you are truly want to take charge of your life, then you need to practice radical responsibility. Your life is an accumulation of past choices (within your adult life), so there is no time or reason to blame someone else for the way your life looks like right now.
However, radical responsibility does not mean that you should beat yourself up over every decision you made in the past, it simply means that you will own every decision with a clear focus from this point forward. Time to let everyone else off the hook.
Write a letter to someone who has wronged you in the past, and forgive them. You do not need to send that letter to them. Release any attachments that you feel, as you write that “letter” in your journal, and feel yourself letting go.
Lesson 7. You are what you choose to be today. Not what you’ve chosen to be before.
So you made bad choices before. We all have. You have a choice to dwell on them, and never break free from the burden they have caused you, or you can take your power back and make a different decision today. What you do today is what matters the most. Your decisions right this very moment, from moment to moment. Become consciously aware of each of these opportunities by practicing mindfulness, and choose with your eyes and heart open.
What small step can you do differently today, in order to get a different result in the future? It can be something simple, such as eating a piece of fruit instead of a candy bar or reading a self-help book for 10 minutes.
Lesson 8. Discontinue deciding what anyone else should or shouldn’t be doing.
Everyone else choices are none of your business, and as the Stoics would say – out of your circle of control. So why waste your time thinking about something that you can not control, while you are giving away the time that you have right now? Make better choices for yourself and improve the lives of those who depend on you, by leaving the world a little bit kinder, more loving, and more positive than it was a moment ago.
Contemplate what is within your circle of control. Be honest with yourself. Do not list, what you wish you could control, but rather what you can control. Then make a promise to yourself, to let go of trying to control anything that is not on that list.